Valentine's Day Truthbombs
How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? Ordinarily, one might think that I’d be the girl all over the hearts and flowers and overflowing with joy and love, and maybe I once was that girl, but I have to say, walking around my local supermarket makes my face wrinkle up like I’m sucking on a lemon. Don’t even get me started on what it looks like if I happen to go to the supermarket after office hours on 13th February. Jeez, it’s a mad clamber around the ridiculously OTT displays of red, pink and glitter stuff (please don’t let me jump on my glitter soap box because thats a whole other rant for a whole other time).
I think you get the gist, but I’ll not speak too long of the stuff that we must spend our hard earned money on just to prove how much we love someone or that we must receive in order to show our friends and family and the all-important social media how loved we are. The 'buying for buying’s sake’. However, I do think it is really lovely to be of a generous nature and of an appreciative nature if someone is kind enough to gift us something.
I wonder, would we be as quick to plaster social media accounts with a picture of a trampled, wilting daisy? Or do we just make a big deal out of the beautifully presented, hugely over-priced scarlet red roses with the pretty ribbon twirling around the stems? Consider which is more valuable - this large bouquet of flowers - very beautiful indeed but will quite quickly wilt, or a puncture repair kit if you’re an avid cyclist who has been dogged by lots of flat tyres recently? Or a warm cup of tea, cosy slippers and a listening ear waiting for you at the end of a busy day at work?
If gifting doesn’t come from the heart, where does it come from? (Suggestion, a place of insecurity or fear? 🤷🏼♀️) Have a think about your expectations around Valentine’s Day; if you have someone in your life who wants to celebrate Valentine’s Day with you, are they feeling the pressure to buy, buy, buy?
Anyway, I digress.
What I wanted to talk about was that I recently noticed a post on social media addressing people who may not be in a relationship over the Valentine’s Day and it went along the lines of "don’t be sad", "your Princess / Prince Charming is out there for waiting you”, “one day you will be as happy as I am”. Whatttt?! Sorry for the inferred potty language but F that schizz. (For the record, I have to say that I don’t believe there was any malice at all or intentional smugness about what I read.)
Yes, companionship is lovely but why must we wait for someone else in order for us to become happy? Why do we think that it’s ok to project all that responsibility onto another human being? (Sadly, we can also feel lonely even if we are in a relationship.)
I am learning that as soon as we begin to look outside of our own being for happiness, be it another person, the perfect job, the fastest car, the latest stuff or whatever we are on the highway to never feeling at peace OR happy. We have that power within us already. If you happen to be a person that is not currently in a relationship and you are feeling lack, there will always be a feeling of not being or not having enough. Truthbomb.
But here’s the real deal; You. Are. Enough. There is no need for striving to live up to Beckham-style lavish gifting. Treat yourself as though you were the absolute love of your life, 'cos guess what - you are. As soon as you’re in that space, the question of whether you are in a relationship with special someone will be irrelevant because you already will be.
Gratitude is your biggest friend, my friend. Notice little things that you are grateful for - maybe even just two or three things a day. Write them down. Your favourite coffee cup or having 20 minutes to blow the cobwebs away with a brisk walk during your lunch break or your light-hearted chats with your sister (OK, that’s one of mine - but you can share it and adapt it for yourself). There are so many things to be grateful for and as soon as you start to notice them, I promise you will begin to see more things.
So, congrats on reaching the end of this very long topsy-turvy Valentine’s Day post.
As a 'thanks for staying with me’, I gift you the permission to go to the nearest mirror, take a good hard look at your reflection and notice what you see. Are you smiling? If not, do it now; remind yourself of all the qualities that make you you and allow yourself to feel the love that only you can give.
The world is a better place for you being in it, thank you. I am grateful.