Living my Tapas

 Image credit ~ Cullan Smith

Image credit ~ Cullan Smith

What’s your take on karma? Let’s shelf actual Karma Yoga for a while, but in the modern, social media-esque idea of life dealing out a bum deal to people who have wronged you? “Karma’s a bitch” we so often hear. But is she? Is she really?? What about when Karma serves us? Does this Karma thing only actually work as some kind of cosmic vigilante? I think not.

It is my belief that the universe is a great hive of energy with each of us being a necessary part of that energy. Each of us holds a valid place here in his beautiful place. If something goes out of kilter in our own personal energy, it knocks out the frequency of all around it. But maybe it goes out of kilter for a reason?

In our lives we are all presented with things that we have to deal with. Mostly, we have the everyday things we take for granted but sometimes it’s necessary for us to grow and when we’re ready to learn, we can be presented with the lesson.

I will offer my own experience of this from not too long ago. I was having a very bleak morning, feeling a bit ‘woe is me’ and was faced with a situation I didn’t like. One which brought up an uncomfortable, painful awkwardness just a handful of steps in front of me and... I hid from it. You can take that metaphorically, which would be very generous of you, but I actually did hide from it. Like, I got back into my car so I didn’t have to deal with it. And it left me feeling upset and angry and whipping myself for not tackling it head-on (have I told you about my inner critic who can be a bitch sometimes?).

For the rest of my errand, I wallowed in memories and choked back tears. And then I stopped because I believe I was given a bit of a shake of the shoulders from the cosmos.

I saw someone whom I hadn’t seen for such a long time, a person who’s smile I was so happy to see and who I was so happy to see ‘out and about’. The last few years have bestowed very poor health and also mourning upon this person but she counts her blessings in a way I have never had to. Her whole demeanour is that of positivity and humility and gratitude. She loves her life and every minute she spends with her family. You will rarely hear this person complain.

So I dusted myself off, came home and permitted myself a restful day because I did feel shaken and I wanted to reflect properly on how I felt about my encounters. 

I categorically know that it was a very good thing for me that I bumped into my friend. Maybe we were even meant to bump into each other; maybe there was an important gift in this lesson of karma. Yes, in my closet I have a box of memory that I’d prefer that it stays shut, we all do, but what good does that do me? Some things are gonna hurt. But I do myself a huge disservice if I ignore or deny my negative feelings and only concentrate on the happy, skippy, tra-la-la memories. That’s just not real life.

I am grateful of my gifts of growth and I believe I’m a better person for them. I wonder if you have had similar experiences - uncomfortable or even unpleasant times you have had to grow through to become the person you are today? Acknowledge when you feel bad with kindness and honesty, don’t bury it in a box - your feelings are valid. Bad times are temporary, they do pass. Happy times also pass and with that knowledge, we can enjoy them to the full and make each moment richer.

With all my love,

Lee-ann x