How do you feel about Valentine’s Day?Feb 08, 2021
as easily as it could stoke the fires of love and warmth in another’s;
Where do you stand with it?
As soon as the clock ticks around to one minute past midnight, there they are, the supermarket shelf stackers, the merchandisers, the greetings card retailers, the florists are there, changing at the bit to be first off the line and display to us a gazillion and one ways we can show the person we love that they mean the world to them.
A gazillion and one ways in which we can be assured that we hold the only place in the hearts of our beloved.
But what if we don’t have that one person for whom you would dramatically declare the love of your life?
Have you ever tried to buy a Valentine’s card for someone who wasn’t the love of your life?
It’s hard - it takes serious scouring through the racks and racks and racks of red-hearted cards.
Have you ever tried to buy a birthday card at this time?? I mean, it’s like no one has birthdays in mid-February.
I can imagine the struggle; my son’s birthday is the day after Boxing Day and let me assure you, them’s slim pickings for birthday cards any time after mid-November. If you’re trying to plan a birthday celebration over the Christmas period, you have to be like a well-organised ninja way ahead of the game.
WHAT IF WE DON’T HAVE THAT ONE PERSON ON VALENTINE’S DAY?
What if someone has suffered a bereavement of a life-long spouse? Or has gone through a terrible marriage separation? Or is feeling very much alone?
Or is actually perfectly happy living their life exactly as they are and does not seek any kind of external validation from a partner?
ARE WE “LESS THAN” IF WE DON’T HAVE A ROMANTIC ATTACHMENT TO SOMEONE?
This question prompts so many other ideas that I want to discuss but I’ll try to stick to the point. The Niyama Santosha invites us to find contentment in our life; if we are constantly wanting or pursuing a different relationship status
a) we are giving the power over our happiness to someone else and that is too much responsibility for any person to bear
b) we will always feel a sense of lack; which is not a nice place to be because it will extend to almost every area of our lives
These beautiful tenets that we know as the Yamas and Niyamas really do hold some solid gold keys for opening up doors for our self-actualisation and transcending all the bullshit. Acting with kindness and honesty and having a willingness to move through discomfort in whatever situation we find ourselves in reminds us of Ahmisa, Satya, Tapas and Ishvara Pranidhana.
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I DON’T KNOW WHERE I STAND WITH VALENTINE’S DAY.
As you may be able to tell, I’m a liiiiiiiittle bit of a cynic where the marketing ploys are concerned because I don’t like how it can make some of the population feel.
Please believe me, I know exactly how it feels. It ain’t pretty.
I am a big believer in being honest and authentic with your emotions and appreciating people in your lives
because who knows how many days we actually have, right? Make them most of every single one of them, is what I say.
I do happen to like that we can be reminded of special appreciation days. World Water Day - 22Mar21, Pancake Day - 16Feb21, International Autism Day - 2Apr21, (we’ll not forget 14th March 🥩 🌬, right? 😆)
If you happen to be gloriously flying solo, mark 15th February ‘21 in your calendar to celebrate International Singles Awareness Day.
For years, I have used Valentine’s Day to remind my children that it’s important to show gratitude and appreciation for someone you care about, and yes, I dress the table, we have a meal together and I put a sweet treat in a red gift bag (that has been re-used each year for about ten years. I’m nothing if not thrifty!).
I do not go over the top but that doesn’t stop me feeling the pressure and overwhelm when I step into the supermarket and side-step the pink and red displays. It was particularly painful when I was going through a separation. Teeny, tiny little rosebud shaped daggers in my vulnerability - so I get it. (If that’s how you feel right now, I’m so sorry for it, my love. Take a read of this blog post, The Handbook of Positive Advice for the Recently Single and I’ll pop some other helpful links towards the bottom of this page.)
DO YOU KNOW WHO IS REALLY, TRULY DESERVING OF YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION?
You are, my friend ❤️
Whatever your romantic or lifestyle choices are, take this as your permission slip to give to the teacher that you are perfect exactly the way that you are and that you do not need any external validation, regardless of what the Hallmark display says (other greetings card suppliers are available).
Can you treat yourself as though you were someone really special? (Psssst…. you are 😘)
🌹 FREEBIE GIVEAWAY 🌹
Single, married, poly, separated, widowed, I would really love to give you a treat of some ways you can easily extend love to yourself - let me know your details and I’ll send it straight over.
If you are a beautiful and valued member of my Virtual Yoga & Wellness Studio, you will see said list popping up in the library very soon - you’re precious and I want you to treat yourself as such. (If you want to be a member - I would love for you to join us, head over here for all info & deets.)
However you chose to spend your Sunday 14th February, my love, I really hope you can be reminded of how much love you have inside for yourself and for other people.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this post, I sincerely hope you have enjoyed it and it may have given you some food for thought. Use the buttons below ⬇️ to get social.
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